Cendrillon
by Raine1712
Summary: Story about Len's and his classmates' lives in a music school, struggling to strive and be the best. But it's a life full of surprises, secrets, and filth...Themes: Music,Angst,Will become pretty dark.Romance.Drama.My summaries are bad,please read though!
1. Chapter 1: A faint wish

_Hello everyone! You're used to getting rather small DN fanfictions from me huh?_

_Well, here's a little something different. This fanfic was actually a request from a very good friend, and it was meant to be a oneshot. But a few days ago, I got way too many ideas, that simply didn't fit in a oneshot. In my head, there's a lot of potential in this story, so I decided to make it multichaptered ;D_

_For any questions you may have, please look at the bottom of the chapter first. If they aren't answered there, then feel free to ask me and I'll happily reply!_

_**Please R&R** if you like it! It will make me wanna write more, it's selfish human nature after all, huhuhu~ *chu*_

_So,** Neuroid, this is for you!** But it's also for me 'cause I really like how it's shaped inside my head...yosh! Enough small talk, on with the story!_

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: A faint wish<strong>

"Len, wake up!"

...I hate mornings...

"Len, come on! Wake up! We're running late!" Screamed my sister's voice next to my ear. I dislike mornings as it is, but what I dislike more is being awoken this way...

"LEN!" She yelled again, her high-pitched voice piercing my ears like someone had injeted a very thin, but sharp enough arrow to give me a headache for a week.

"Fine, I heard you..."... I opened my eyes with difficulty, dreading over the moment I had to get out of my warm bed and step on the hard, cold, unfriendly floor. I rested my eyes on her with a disapproving look and sighed. "Can't you let me-"

"NO!" She screamed, giving me no other choice but to grab the pillow underneath me and shove it on my head in an attempt to keep the disturbing sound of her voice out of my ears.

"We're running late! We've got professor Kamui first period! He's gonna kill us!" My sister yelled again. I must confess though, she was one hundred percent right. Kamui-sensei was quite strict on time. And it's not like he'd yell at us or anything, no. He'd do something much, much worse to torture us. It wasn't his style to simply lecture you, then let you off the hook. And I knew that well. I'd felt his wrath for the past year, and I'd felt it for good.

I nudged the covers off of me and sat up yawning. I looked at my twin's worried face. She was eyeing me with a pupish glance, practically begging me with her stare to make haste. I nodded and without needing to say anything else, Rin walked out of the room to let me get ready.

I didn't need more than 10 minutes to wash myself up, get dressed, and tie my hair up in a high ponytail, and rush downstairs to grab a toast on my way to the hall and head to the exit with Rin. The house was empty again...

I must admit, I had very loving parents. Workaholic indeed, but the fact they were never at home didn't get to my anymore, I had grown used to it. After all, seeing freshly prepared breakfast on the table every morning, did play it's part. Even if they were never at home in the mornings, mom would always prepare something for us before leaving for work. To her, it was like an oath. She'd be late any day than leaving without preparing something for us to wait in the kitchen in her place.

I rushed out and banged the door, running down the stairs by the porch, the toast still hanging from my mouth, in an attempt to hurry as fast as possible.

Rin was at the gate, holding it open for me, and as soon as I reached it, she shut it and locked it carefully, placed the keys in her bag and turned to me. "Your shoe laces are untied." She said softly and grinned at me, then poked my nose playfully, and I bit my toast slightly harder to hold it from falling off my mouth. She shook her head, croutched down and tied them up for me in a hurry, then grabbed her bag and ran off. I followed.

Rin was an airhead most of the time, but it seems as if we changed roles in the early mornings. She'd be the loving, caring sister who'd wake impossible me up, and I'd be the sleepyhead brother who wouldn't let go of his warm bed covers. Hey, don't get the wrong idea, I'm not irresponsible or lazy or anything. I'm a hardworking music student. My parents pay our school with all they have after all, slacking off would be a waste and a sin. I'm just...disfunctional in the mornings, especially when I know I have to deal with professor Kamui first period.

We both rushed in the victorian-looking building as if we were being chased by some monster who'd eat us if we stopped. Well duh, he might not be an actual monster but we only had 5 minutes left to get to the classroom. And that man was never, and I do mean, never late. He was also never earlier than needed. He was exacly on time. So, counting on that was useless.

You know, the outside of our school looked royal and victorian, but the inside was highly modlern and chic. I kinda liked that about it. It had style. And many, many resources and assosiasions, if you get what I mean.

Rin ran full throttle in the classroom and stopped only when she reached her desk, gushing in deep breaths of relief. I rolled myself to my seat and rested my head on my own desk, gasping for breath. We made it, we were in time, we had one more minute left. Thank god...

I turned my head to check on Rin, who had been hugging her desk with the grateful, but trademark happy-go-lucky expression she had every time we were saved this way. And it's actually been a lot of times.

If we'd been late, we'd be killed for sure. I'm not sure about Rin, but I definitely forgot to do our assignments for today...hey! I'm not lazy or anything! It's human to forget about things now and then right...? right...?

I felt a hand squeeze my shoulder tight, which snapped me out of my train of thoughts. I knew that squeeze, I knew it well. My head turned around automatically and grinned stupidly at my friend's worried expression. He lifted an eyebrow which was hardly visible by the blue bangs that adorned his forehead.

"Here." He set down a grey notebook to my desk and his lips pulled to a smile of relief. "I copied my notes to u, with adjustments here and there. The similarities to mine shouldn't be noticeable."

I grabbed him by the waist grinning happily and squeezed him in a tight hug. "Damn it Kaito, what'd I do without you?"

And I wasn't exaggerating. I don't know how he did it, but every damn time I forgot my assignments, he magicaly knew. And my best bud was always there to save my ass from getting punished by the monster. Oh, speaking of monsters...

"Shion-san, what time is it?" I heard the characteristic voice of my sensei speak out behind my back.

Kaito freezed and stared at my teacher straight-faced. He lifted his wrist and looked at his watch with an empty face. I knew that face.

"8:30 sir." My friend replied, with his head titled downwards to his watch still. But I knew. He wasn't faithfully staring at his clock or anything. He was scared outta his mind.

"And what are you doing, standing in the middle of the lesson, causing an uproar?"

Middle of the lesson he says...What middle of the lesson, the guy just entered the classroom out of nowhere! I mean, come on!...Not that my thoughts matter at all but, hey, whatever...

"I apologize." I heard Kaito say, and glanced at him only to see my friend's bowing figure of apology. Damn, this was all my fault...

"Apologizing won't change the fact that you ignored your teacher's rules. Or am I wrong? Have you not made nothing of my rules? Have you obediently listened to the rule that says that you must be sitting by your desk by 8:29?"

I turned around fast and hurried to speak, to explain that it was all my fault, that all the poor guy did was save my own ass, but didn't get the chance. He spoke again and squeezed my shoulder tactfully.

"I apologize. I ashamed my teacher." He said and bowed again. My heart squeezed in my chest, and my teacher's arrogant stare only made me want to stand up and punch the heck out of him. But I knew I couldn't do that. I was nonexistent. I was nothing. Who was I to stand and rebel against a teacher?...After all, it would only cause my parents pain... Damn it man! Don't act this way...

Kamui-sensei shaped a smirk to his lips and and crossed his arms, walked to Kaito and left a small chuckle. "Very well." He said and walked to the front of the class, where various musical instruments stood on top of a small, but sufficient for lessons, stage.

"I shall forgive you this once. You see, I am in a good mood today." He chuckled and stepped on the small stage, grabbed a long, silver, sharp conducting baton from the black shieth that stood on his desk and turned to us, smirking.

Kaito bowed once again in gratitude and rushed down to his desk which was located next to mine, never looking at Kamui in the eye.

I do see a reason to respect the man, I really do. He's a world-renown singer after all.

Kamui Gackupo. Has signed with many different record companies, due to his lack of temper most probably. That though, doesn't cut back from the fact that his career has been freaking successful. He had seen things we hadn't, felt the stage the way we hadn't. Knew facts we didn't. He was standing many steps above us, too many to count...I know he is one respectful man and all. But truthfully? His rotten personality sickens me...

I glanced at Kaito frowning and mouthed a "thank you" without letting any sound out. He merely smiled and nodded, then finally rested his eyes back at the teacher. I did the same.

"Has everyone done their assignments for today?" He said, wearing a poker-face of a smile that simply looked down upon each and every one of us.

The whole class muttered a half-hearted "yes" in synch.

My class you see, isn't too big. It consists of a few people.

Me and Rin, my best friend Kaito. The always serious-looking, Megurine Luka.

She's always serious about her job, kinda closed up to herself. Doesn't talk much. Out of all of us she seems to respect Kamui-sensei the most. I can see why. Her skill is kinda admirable. I bet she's serious about making it big...

Then we have, the school's upcoming star... Hatsune Miku.

Miku-chan has a very cute figure, is soft-spoken, sings well...that is her image after all. Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against her, but the girls seem to be hating on her... Honestly, probably the success has been getting in her head...which seems to be far above the clouds, and that teachers are favouring her isn't helping at all. the You'll understand what I mean soon.

Then, we have Piko-san. He's a transfer student, who's only just joined the class a week ago. I don't know much about him but he seems to be a relatively happy kid. He has a few friends outside class, and when he's with them he's all outspoken and stuff. I guess he's still cautious around us. To be expected.

And lastly...

There is Nakajima Gumi. We've been in the same class for a year, though I don't think I have anything to say about her, other that she is constantly in her own little world. Sure, she does all the assignments on time, and seems pretty hyper about every job you give her, but still...if you ask me, she's plain weird...

She dresses weird, talks weird, acts weird. I mean come on, when we're practicing on instruments she's sitting on her desk, making cranes. How sane is that? I mean, how the heck does she even know how to sing if she constantly slacks off...? Music is 1% talent and 99% hard work after all...

"Good then." My teacher's voice snapped me out of my trance. And I noticed I'd been staring at Gumi-san for quite a while. And she was...staring back at me? The girl smiled to me softly and turned back to her cranes. Oh no...the last thing I needed was to be liked by a weirdo...even worse, be misunderstood! I wasn't really staring at her, I was just deeply lost in thought...oh man...

"Throw all of your notebooks to the trash bin." I heard Kamui speak out, and automatically turned my head to him, eyes widening, my mouth gaping.

Do-do what? What does he mean by that?

"Throw all your assignments to the bin, or esle you'll reseve a nice zero for a mark."

I never understand what's in this guy's head...I mean, Kaito probably stayed up till late to copy his notes in this...and now I had to simply throw it away...? I didn't have a choice though, did I?

So I obeyed like a good kid, like I obeyed every time, and so did the rest of my classmates. In two minutes time, all their hard work, along with Kaito's I had been holding, was rotting in the trash bin, as if it was of no importance.

"I have a new assignment for you. A bigger, and much more pleasing one than simply writing down essays on your notebooks."

I lifted an eyebrow. Sure man, okay, but couldn't you at least look at other people's hard work first...?

He lifted his batton with an airy movement horizonally to his head and pointed it at us, then started swaying it around, in synch with his head and other hand, humming some song i didn't recognise. Then he stopped out of nowhere and smirked at us.

"A concert will be held in our school, in a month." He spoke and rested his behind on Megurine-san's desk, sat on it, and turned to look at the rest of us. "A student concert. A concert each class will have to complete to attend."

Like, what? I blinked twice and arched my body slightly forward in interest, my hands under the desk, tightly gripping at the fabric of jeans on my knees. Kamui chuckled once, probably by our shocked expressions and crossed his arms, setting the baton down on Luka-san's desk.

"On the 15th day of this month, there will be a small...tournament, so to speak. Each of you will compete in pairs. The pair that wins, will compete against the other classes winning pairs at the end of the month."

"And what happens with the winning pair of the last round..?" Luka-san finally spoke out, eyeing him carefully, eyes full of expectation, with her arms crossed in frond of her.

Kamui-sensei smiled softly at her, grabbed his baton and pointed it high at the ceiling, and our eyes followed mechanically.

"The pair that wins, gets to have a debut single duet." He smiled at us. "Can you see the star of fame blinking at you?"

What...? A debut single...? ... I looked down at the desk in frond of me and gripped my jeans tightly, my hands shaking as if I was standing in the middle of Syberia, barefoot...

A single...a single...

Hey, I'm not dreaming, am I?...Do I have to pinch myself like an idiot to make sure...?

I bit my lips smiling faintly, in a struggle to keep any possible rush screams of happiness carefully shut in, then bit them harder in place of pinching myself, until they started hurting.

Yeah, I was awake.

A single...a debut...

The moment I heard that, my parents images flashed through my head. Both standing next to each other, as if in a picture, smiling happily at me. My mother's brown hair skillfully tied back in a high ponytail, letting the beautiful features of her face shine. My father's sometimes strict, but still caring figure, holding my mother by the waist, his platinum hair combed back like he always did, wearing his trademark suit, his soft eyes looking straight at me with pride.

That was the image I wanted to see. My overworking parents happy. Their tired face features shining from happiness and pride...I lifted my eyes slowly and rested them on Rin, who seemed to be sharing similar thoughts to mine. She was looking back at me, smiling softly, curled up in her seat. I knew we shared the same thoughts. I knew Rin's hopeful smile.

I didn't want to lift my eyes and look at my classmates' expressions. I knew each of them was probably like mine. Hopeful, daydreaming, expecting faces. If I looked up, I'd naturally feel bad to compete against them. Isn't one man's happiness another man's misery, after all? But I had to. They had their reasons, so I had mine. I wanted to make mom and dad smile again...not the forced, tired, careful not to upset us smiles we usually get. But real ones. Smiles filled with happiness.

"I shall declare your pairs then." Kamui-san's voice broke the expecting silence, and once again brutally pulled me out of my deep thoughts. He walked to his desk and pulled a black folder out of his bag, then slipped out a piece of paper, held it high and looked at each one of us.

"Let's see..." I looked at Rin and smiled, hoping we would be paired together. I mean, we'd be fighting for the same reason! We'd gain our parents smiles together...I knew she was thinking the same. Her hopeful gaze spoke so.

"Hatsune pairs up with Megurine."

Both girls looked at each other, Luka-san seemingly unaffected, and for some reason, Miku-san pouting all frowned. I bet someone wasn't happy with their pair...ouch.

"Shion-san, with Kagamine Rin."

Kaito turned his gaze at my sister and blinked once, then looked at me, so did my sister.

Damn...So it seems I wouldn't be with my sister...She looked rather...defeated...and tired. I knew my sister wouldn't want to compete against me, even so win if we didn't do it together. But still...no, wait a second. Who does this leave me with?

I glanced up at both the newcomer and the weird girl. You must be kidding me right...?

Kamui-san smiled and walked to my side. "Piko-san is new and has no experience, therefore we can't expect of him to compete."

Shit. Plain shit.

"So that leaves Kagamine Len with Nakajima-san." He folded his A4 piece of paper and flashed his poker smile again. "Work hard." He stood and walked back to the front of class where his big, black, royal desk was located and sat down to his seat, pulled some more papers out of his bag and started scribbling something down. "Class dismissed." And the bell rang, as if it was obeying him and not the other way around.

God, do you hate me...? It's not that I have anything against the girl but...she's weird and doesn't listen to anyone...there've been so many times she's refused to work on an assignment just because she didn't like the song, and got 0 for a mark. Then again, if she does like the song it's definitely above 90%, which is rather soothing. But... What if she dislikes the song we're given again? What am I to do? If I fail because of her...oh come on, is there even a chance I can win with this outcome?...and even if I won...it won't be with Rin...what good is it anyway?..

I sighed and tilted my head downwards, lifted my bag and stood up, suddenly feeling the gravity pull me down rather brutally. It's as if all hope and expetation had fled my body, and all I was left with were the remnants of my dreams...like sharp glasses that I didn't even dare think of touching anymore...

How did it turn to this...?

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><p>Phew, this was the first chapter! It's not too long, and not very revealing, but I hope it wasn't boring and promise the next ones will be...very angsty and stuff!<p>

So, to any questions you may have.

**-Why are Kaito and Gumi's surnames, Shion and Nakajima?**

As it seems, Kaito and Gumi don't have official surnames. I searched around, and one supposed surname of kaito is Shion, I liked and kept it. About Gumi, I found nothing so I used her voice actror's surname, which is Nakajima.

**-Where are the rest of the Vocaloids?**

There will be more of them as the story progresses. For example, Meiko is a teacher, along with Gakupo, who was the monster teacher of the chapter, lol.

**Title song of chapter 1:** A faint wish:

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><p><em>That's about it, for any further questions, feel free to ask!<em>


	2. Chapter 2: Blue Bird

_Hello Everyone! It seems I had enough inspiration to do both chapters today! Don't expect this to happen a lot, as I am very lazy and have a lot of stuff I like doing. I wanted to at least give you a taste and make the story a liiittle bit more interesting! Here we go, chapter 2! **Please R&R~**_

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><p>Chapter 2: Blue Bird<p>

I walked to the classroom's exit, head tilted downwards. I couldn't bare to turn and look at my sister now. Could I ask to switch pairs?...As if Kamui would ever let us do that. His word was law. But then, was I supposed to do about this-

"Ouch! Watch it!" I yelled and looked at the female figure who had bumped on me and rushed away without an apology, not to mention not even a glance. The green-haired girl ran up the stairs instead of entering the elevator as if she was being chased by something. I lifted an eyebrow and crossed my hands. "What the hell...?"

"She's always in a hurry to get out of his class, isn't she..?" My best friend's voice echoed behind me and I turned my eyes at him, then at the weird girl who had fled from the room like a hurricane.

"I guess so.." I muttered, my eyes still somehow still staring at the stairs she had used. "Nakajima-san isn't very friendly is she...? Is she running from us?" Rin walked up from behind us pouting, and looked at me pupishly. "I'd like to make friends...why's she so cold?"

I smiled and ruffled her bangs with my hand playfully. "Idiot. Some people like their solitude, just leave her be!" I said grinning widly at my sister's whinning, then laughed when she tried fighting back. I was messing up her carefully combed bangs after all, I'd definitely get a good scold. Kaito simply smiled and placed his hands in the pockets of his jeans, tilted his head and smiled, looking at us sadly. "Hey, about that...sorry...I wasn't of much help..." He muttered out, causing both me and Rin to stop our childlish quarreling and turn to look at him. His eyes looked worried and apologetic. Why did this guy always look so apologetic?

"Oi, idiot." I said and punched his chest softly. "Stop looking at me as if you killed someone. It's okay! We'll manage" I grinned. "Right Rin?" My sister nodded ,looked up at Kaito and smiled softly, her cheeks slightly red. "Let's work hard!" She spoke and placed her arms behind her back shyly.

I pretended I knew nothing and cleared my voice to alarm her she was being read like an open book, which did the trick and forced her back to the real world. She smiled, waved at us and walked off upstairs.

I turned to Kaito and began to speak, only to be cut off by the 'monster's voice behind me.

"If you have time to chit-chat, perhaps you have time to rush to your next lesson? The bell will ring in approximately 3 minutes after all". He said smirking down at us.

I'm not gonna punch him. No god, I won't. I'm not gonna punch him, I'm not-

"I apologize" Kaito spoke out and grabbed my head, his hand forcing me down to bow with him. Why do I have to bow to him? All he does is piss me off!

And just like that, Kaito grabbed me by the shoulder again and pulled me in the elevator fast, and only when the doors shut close he let out a sigh of relief.

"Seriously, you need to calm down a little. Don't apologize or every little thing other people do, it's disturbing..." I know I was being kind of an asshole, but it was the truth. Have a little self-respet damn it. But I didn't expect anything short of an awkard smile from my friend. He nodded and apologized once again, for apologizing. Sheesh...

We stood silent for a second until the characteristc, sharp "din" sound of the elevator's bell implied we had arrived at the chosen floor, and the doors opened. He suddenly grabbed me by the arm and pulled me back in. I looked at him eyes wide and blinked in surprise.

His grip was tight. Maybe a little too tight.

"Hey...maybe It's just me but..." He said and moved closer so that nobody else would hear. "Nakajima...seems like a whole different type of person around Kamui."

I lifted an eyebrow and looked at him surprised. "Huh? What are you saying? And let go already, it hurts!" I whined and pulled my hand back, rested my back on the elevator's brown wall and looked up at the tall bluehead.

Kaito sighed and looked around to make sure nobody was listening to our conversation, then leaned down and spoke with his voice's volume as low as possible.

"Look, I'm not an expert...but she acts all weird around Kamui...she's all stiff, doesn't make a sound...last week, remember when you had the flu and skipped class?" He said and eyed me carefully. I nodded and stuck my eyes on his. "Well" he continued. "We had Kamui that day...Nakajima was to sing her assigned song in class...and she stood on the stage" he pulled back and started making movements with his hands to give me a cleaner idea what he was talking about. "She started singing but...out of nowhere the girl started shaking everywhere, u know? And she was glaring at Kamui as if he was some kinda ghost." He said and scratched his hair sighing. "He tried to help her but she slapped his hand back, and ran out of class screaming...Literally screaming at the top of her lungs."

I stared at him, my eyes wide. Okay what the hell, I know she was a nutcase but that was just too much...

"And know what Kamui did about it? Nothing. He didn't even glance the way she ran, he simply continud his lesson without a care in the world..."

I scratched the back of my neck nervously and lifted an eyebrow, staring at him. "And what are you trying to say...? Isn't she crazy anyway?"

He glared at me and I gulped back, looking apologetically at him. "She's not crazy, something's wrong! There was this other time..." He began but let his voice trail off, staring to the side at nothingness, lost deep in thought.

I crossed my arms and waited. Whatever was he trying to say? And suppose something's up between Kamui and Nakajima, what's it got to do with us? She's crazy alright, seducing a teacher seems like something she might do...maybe she got rejected and got a fit. We don't even know her, how is he making assumptions? Wait..Am I not the one making assumptions too? Sigh...

"Listen." He finally spoke and grabbed my shoulder. He looked down at me and frowned. Hell...I didn't like my friend's frown, it didn't suit him. I sighed and nodded. "I'm all ears..."

He bent down and spoke softly again. "She never looks at him in the eye, and if she's forced to make any contact with him, she acts weird. Very weird. Every single time! I'm only telling you this because you've been partnered up with her...I'm not sure but...I'm getting a bad feeling about this..."

I sighed and rested my hands in the pockets of my own jeans, looked up at him and pouted. "Now, you hear me instead. We've got nothing to do with this. We hardly even know her! And what are you implying anyway? I doubt he's that much of a monster to've done anything to her, and if he did, she probably deserved it for slacking off. Like, punishment or something. It's none of our business, don't put into other people's affairs, idiot."

Maybe I'd spoken too harshly to him. It's a common fact that Kaito is way too soft of a person. He gets easily sad and can't help but worry about other people. Maybe that's why he constantly buts in where he shouldn't. I sighed and poked his chest again. "Let's go, we're 5 minutes late. Thank god It's Meiko-san's class." I said, grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him out of the elevator and towards the classroom. I didn't dare look at him in the eye. I knew he was probably sad right now. Not so much about what I'd said, rather, more about what I'd done. Which was, nothing. What could I do anyway? As I said...I have other things to worry over...

We both walked into class and I let go of his shirt to let him walk to his desk as I walked to mine. As expeted, we were the last ones to walk in class. Everyone was already seated, and Meiko-san was in the middle of the classroom looking at us with a warm smile.

"Come on hurry up, hurry up! We have many things to speak about today!" She said and twirled around the room, then stopped at Miku's desk. She rested her hands on it , smiled at her, then turned and looked at the rest of us. "I suppose Kamui-sensei has already informed you of the event which will be held at the school, non?" We all nodded and she turned to Miku again. The teacher smiled and bit her lip. "How do you feel?" She asked the girl, who seemed to look very happy, but somehow the teacher looked even more intrigued herself. "I can't wait!" Miku admitted and grinned all happily.

Somehow though, I couldn't take my eyes off the girl sitting behind her. It had started to bug me too...Nakajima's behaviour...hell, how was I supposed to work alongside such a person? This chick had temper issues to begin with!

"Of course you can't wait! I bet all of you are very excited about this!" Meiko-san said and pulled away from Miku, then walked and sat on Nakajima's desk. Nakajima simply stared at her silently, then cracked a random smile. Creepy...

I looked away shivering. This girl was creeping me out...but come to think of it...

I turned around and looked at her carefully again. She looked much more laid back and relaxed now. She was genuinely smiling and chit-chatting with Meiko-san about the concert. Maybe Kaito was right...Maybe something was off...

I shook my head and blinked twice to drive the thoughts away from my mind. This was none of my business, and nothing I should worry over right now.

"Well then, let's start this way. Sit alongside your pairs please." Meiko-sensei smiled at us and walked to her own desk.

Oh no...I facepalmed myself and moved the finger covering my left eye out of sight, only to look up at Nakajima, who had somehow already sat down next to me. She moved closer, blinked, then giggled. "You're so weird! I'm not gonna eat you!" She chuckled and kept staring at me.

W-Weird? She was the weird one here, I was completely normal!...Though I guess my behaviour right now was nothing short of abnormal...Come to think of it...'I'm not gonna eat you'?...She probably noticed I was being unfriendly...Ah crap...

I lowered my hand from my face and cleared my throat, ordering my stiff body inside my mind to relax. She wasn't going to eat me or anything. She seemed sane enough right now. I looked at the girl who did nothing but smile at me and nodded.

"Uh, sorry, I have a small headache, is all." I'm such a lame liar. Lamest liar of all liars. I can't lie, that's a fact. She probably noticed as well, but all she did was laugh softly at me, then turn around and pull some notebooks out of her book, set them on our now shared desk and open them wide. I did the same and cleared my throat once more, then turned and honestly tried to set all my attention on Meiko-sensei. It wasn't easy to do though.

The sound of ripped paper being ripped next to my ear seemed to draw my attention every few minutes. Was she doing it on purpose? Shesh! Try and respect your teachers for once!...

Hey, come to think of it...wasn't she doing the same in that guy's class?

I tilted my eyes tactfully, with my head still pointed at my teacher, only to see her ripping her papers with a rather delighted look on her face. Yeah, I know...her expression right now is so much different from before...she looked...gloomy and stuff...but the person I was seeing now looked as if she had no care in the world.

"Call me Gumi." Her voice jerked me out of my thoughts, causing me to lightly jump up in my seat, then every muscle in my body stiffen up. "I'll call you Len." She declared and started folding the papers that had caused me such a headache a moment ago.

Wait, what? Don't you have any sense of courtesy? You barely know me, what's with the first-name basis?

I sighed in defeat and nodded. "Okay..." I managed to speak out tiredly and turned my eyes to Meiko-san again. I enjoyed a few moments of silence from her part, for thankfully the papers folding didn't make much of a sound. But my happiness didn't last long, as probably expected.

"Hey hey." She spoke and I stiffened again, shutting my eyes tightly and breathing in and out deeply. It's okay. Don't scream. She'll shut up. Someday.

"Yes...?" I said with my voice sounding somehow hoarse.

"Ships...aren't they beautiful? They're the nearest things to dreams that hands have ever made..." She said and smiled down at her army of small paper boats.

I blinked and tilted my head. "W-What? Come again..?" What was that? A ritorical question?

And what do ships have to do with anything? She's an up and comming singer, not a sailor...

Oh wait...

Oh...I see...

I looked down at her small boats. Each and every one of them were carefully placed behind the other, as if they were marching, and she was glancing at them happily like a loving mother of sorts. I couldn't help but smile myself.

"They are. But you're not a sailor. You don't have to sail in your land of dreams." I somehow started blurting out and lifted my hand to the ceiling, looked up and pretended to catch something invisible. "Isn't flying to catch them more effective, and faster? Why not use an airplane?"

The girl turned to me and stared at me for a long moment of silence, then blurted out in a spit of laughter, which caused the whole class to turn and look at us. Damn it...I could feel my cheeks and ears burning hot as I nervously looked anywhere but them.

Meiko-san tilted her head in question, but after a moment of silence, smiled and went back at chit-chatting with the others about something I really wasn't paying attention to.

I heard a soft giggle next to me and saw the girl's hand scribbling something down in her notebook. She then pushed the notebook to my side. I looked down curiously.

'Just because it's the fastest way, doesn't make it the best. Ships are magical. Airplanes aren't'.

I lifted my eyebrows curiously and unconciously grabbed my own pen. I scribbled down: 'How exacly are they magical?' and pushed the notebook back to her.

The girl took it, read and scribbled down a reply to me again.

'Ships are slower, therefore let you experience more things on the way. Airplanes don't do that.'

I found myself at a dead end for words and simply smiled, nodding in defeat. The girl choked a giggle, leaving only rhythmic breaths out and pulled her notebook back to her own side of the desk with her pale hand.

I turned my head straight and pretended to be paying attention at Meiko-sensei.

The girl, she was weird...but in a good way I guess... Ships? Dreams? I chuckled and turned my head to the other side, placing a knuckle to my lips to keep my laughter in. I knew she was probably staring at me with a questionable expression right now.

Come to think of it. She really did seem laid-back now. Carefree. She was smiling, and was talking. Was there really something wrong with Kamui...?

"Len-san, your turn!" I heard my teacher speak out my name and jolted my head back to her, eyes widening in surprise.

"...Eh?" I blinked, all flushed and embarassed that I wasn't actually paying attention to her.

My teacher pouted and eyed me with a dissapointed glance. "Your song, did you practice it? The one you had assigned for today."

I blinked and stood still for a moment, trying to force my head back in working order.

Oh! 'Detective Loupe'!

I nodded and stood up all flushed. "Y-Yes! I'm sorry, I did!".

Meiko-sensei laughed softly at me. "If you did then what are you sorry for?".

I blushed deeper and shut my eyes tightly as the rest of the class laughed at me. It's not like I was gonna admit that I was slacking off into my dreamland again. I shook my head and stood to the front of the class. Meiko-san walked to me and plugged the mic in frond of me on, then walked to the back of the room and switched the music on working order.

As soon as the beat started playing, I grabbed the mic and tapped my foot on the small, but sufficient wooden stage I was standing on.

I loved the sound of music. It thrilled me. The air I filled my lungs with any ordinary day was nothing compared to the air I filled my lungs with to sing. That air, it completed me, it made me feel alive.

'Detective Loupe' was a rather fast song with a solid, oldschool feeling to it. I don't see why I was assigned this song as homework, but hey, it was fun to sing!

I was having my fun now. This...The feeling I got now, I loved it...I lived for it.

Singing in frond of an audience, no matter how small it may be.

I let the lyrics flood out of my lips like a river, enjoying every single note I carefully hit. My sister was silently singing along from her seat, a happy grin plastered on her face, which only made me remember why I wanted to win the upcoming contest so badly.

I wanted to see mom and dad wear the same expression she did now. I could do it...I knew I could...I had to...

Suddenly the music stopped in the middle of the song, and I found myself gasping, out of breath. I scanned the room with my eyes for my teacher fast, only to find her with her finger pressing on the 'off' button of the console.

"What's wrong with you today?" She said and frowned. "You can't sing a song while thinking of something competely unrelated."

I felt my heartbeats rise up twice as fast as they did before, and my stomach suddenly clutching. She couldn't read minds, could she? What was that?

"How..." I began but was cut off by her mature, soft and concerned voice again.

"How do I know?" She said and walked to me, hands crossed under her chest. "When a person sings a song and doesn't feel it, it always shows. The song knows it when you're treating it half-heartedly, so it treats you the same way as punishment."

I blinked and blushed deeply, looking down ashamed.

"You sang without any soul or feeling. Your technique may have been correct, but there was no feeling. It is a happy song, yet it sounded utterly boring to listen to. 60 points." She said and walked away to the back of the room again.

I facepalmed myself once more and sighed, got off the stage and walked to my desk.

Great. This day was getting worse and worse...What had gotten into me today? Not to mention I paid no attention all day, I also screwed up during this week's song presentation...what's gotten into me...?

I sat down on my desk and rested my ankle to the desk, grabbed my lifted bangs and pulled on them silently, but desperately.

Get a grip, idiot. What are your parents paying for...?

Guilt gushed over me as I felt my chest tighten more and more, until it was getting hard to breathe.

60...60 out of 100...this was bad...too bad...

"Hey, don't worry too much. You can't feel a song you dislike." I heard the voice of the person next to me speak again, and somehow this time it didn't sound as annoying as the rest. I sighed but didn't turn to look at her. Gumi-san was right. I didn't really feel the song. But so was the teacher. Maybe, if I had paid more attention to the lyrics, I would've felt it. I would'e done better...ah...shit...

"Gumi-chan, come up please."

I sighed and felt the warmth next to me moving up, until she walked away from the desk and the spot of me felt cold again.

The girl grabbd the microphone in frond of her and tapped it with her finger lightly.

"Ah Ah." She checked it's working order and smiled at me softly. She lifted her hand and pretended to catch something, eyes always stuck on mine.

"It's because you tried to use an airplane instead of a ship." She spoke in the mic and the whole class looked at her with questionable faces. I knew what she meant though, and for the first time I felt like I had something in common with this lunatic.

And so, her own song started playing.

The moment her voice clashed with the music, I knew what she meant. She sang with a smile on her face, dancing along with her hands, making movements that reminded me of a bird. I smiled softly in defeat, and finally noticed the words of the song. And found myself humming along "I just fly to the sky when it's clear on the other side..." .

I smiled and couldn't take my eyes off her. Not because I liked her in a romantic way or anything, nor because she was a stunning beauty.

It was because of her expression when singing. It was captivating. It was magical. She felt the lyrics, and passed them down to me, and probably everyone else in the room as well.

Why hadn't I noticed this before?

Not that I had noticed anything about her...appart from the fact she was crazy...

but while she was singing...maybe, just maybe...

it felt as if she was quite a few levels above me...

Probably because she wasn't rushing. She was sailing.

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><p><em>So here it is, chapter 2~<em>

_The song Len sang is: Detective Loupe._

_The song GUmi sang is: Blue Bird._

_You can check them on youtube. Kisses~!_


	3. Chapter 3: Dark woods circus

_Hey guys! Another update~ But don't expect another for a while! 8D_

_Um, so...this is a very angsty chapter...I wrote it without thinking much I must say, and my head was quite occupied with missing my girlfriend... _

_and it's also the smallest chapter I've written yet. Yeah, sorry about the length. But please do enjoy~!_

_Pretty puppy please, Rate and Review? If you review, I will update faster! 0w0  
><em>

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><p><strong>Chapter 3: Dark Woods Circus<strong>

That night, I had a dream. I dreamt of myself wearing a sailor uniform, my back laid on the floor of the small boat I owned. My eyes were stuck to the sky, noticing how the clouds played tricks to my eyes and changed shapes. And I lifted my hand to catch them, but they merely changed shapes again, creating an opening to the blue sky. As if mocking me.

"Hey, you can't reach us, you're insignificant."

I woke up in the middle of the night, sweating from top to the tips of my toes. How many times had it been already? Within this same week, seeing the same dream, which always ended the same way. I didn't mind it at first, it reminded me of how unimportant I am. Of my flows. Of my ugly way of thinking.

I pushed the bedsheets brutally off me and stood to my feet, the icy cold floor sending shivers down my spine. I ignored it and tottered to the door, without even turning to look at the time. Wearing the slippers that stood outside my bedroom door, I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, shut the door behind me and rested my hands onto the table, pressing my body weight to it so I wouldnt fall. I finally lifted my head and looked up at the clock on the kitchen wall. 3:15. Great...

I was alive right? I was there...I was standing...I knew I was standing...I was breathing...or was I not? Was I still dreaming...? Was I still falling..?

I extended my right hand and looked at it, curled my fingers in and pressed my nails hard on the skin of my palm, then uncurled out again. It didn't hurt. It wasn't enough pain...I didn't feel a thing...was I really dreaming...?...

No, I wasn't dreaming. This was simply my favourite excuse to use. I chuckled at my stupidity and pulled back the sleeve on my right hand. They were there. The marks of my stupidity were still there. They carvings on my wrist laid proudly, to remind me every single day, how stupid and insignificant I am.

Why was I doing this...? Every part of it screamed "wrong!". And yet, why wouldn't I stop it? In a weird way, it made me feel alive. It reminded me I still actually exist. It gave me pleasure...

God, I'm such a rotten person...a double-faced coin, an ignorant fool. Praying to make my parents proud, and when nobody's watching, rolling down the path of utter shame. But somehow, I didn't care right now. All I wanted was to feel it. Feel my skin itch, hurt, cut. This is just how rotten I was, no matter the guilt I felt, every single time, there was the same outcome.

I hurried to the other end of the kitchen, my breath accelerating and opened the middle drawer on the right. There...

"Len?"

My eyes widened and I choked a gasp, turned around fast and looked at my sister's worried face.

"What's wrong? And jeez, it's so dark in here..."

"No, Don't!"

But as if she ever listened to me...Soon, light was blinding my eyes, and I pulled my sleeve down fast tactfully, turning my back on the other side.

"Len..? What...hey!" I felt her warm, tiny hand on my shoulder, turning me around, cupping my face and staring at me in the eye.

"Len...what's wrong..? Why are you crying...?"

I was crying...? I hadn't noticed...

I blinked my eyes once and felt the watery drops slide down my cheeks. Her pale fingers brushed the tears off my face and caressed my eyes softly.

"What's wrong...? Why are you sad? Did something happen? Len!"

And what was I to say to her? I didn't even know myself, what the hell was wrong! Why I did this...why I let myself do this, I didn't know. Would apologizing help? Would that make it all okay? But apologizing means I'd have to confide in her how much of a monster I am...and I couldn't do that. Rin, mom, dad. I couldn't tell them. Someone...someone...stop me!

"Len!"

My eyes widened again and I stared at my sister's now competely frightened face.

"Len, talk to me, you're scaring me!"

Her lower lip trembled unstoppably, and it seems she had joined me in crying. Ah...I'm such a worthless older brother...

I pulled her in a hug and held her close, biting my lip in the process. Who was I, to hold her with my filthy, tainted hands?

"I'm okay..." I finally managed to speak out. "It's nothing important, I just had a nightmare. I'm okay now."

I heard her sniffing sounds and a faint, tiny "okay..." come out from her. And that was the end of our discussion. We stayed like this for a while, until she stopped crying in my place, and each of us returned to their rooms without further talk.

Rin knew something was wrong, and she was worried. But she also knew she was in no place to ask. She was aware whenever I wanted to confide in myself. I loved that about my sister. Heh, maybe, just maybe...She's the only person who actually understands me...to an extent.

And so I went back to bed and curled once again under my bedsheets, hiding in their safe darkness, patiently waiting until the sun would rise and I'd rise with it.

That morning, before heading out, I went back to wearing wristbands, a habbit I had stopped for quite a few months. Simply hiding my hands under buggy shirts and hoodies wouldn't help much longer. This way I felt safer.

"Morning pal!" I grinned at my friend and punched his chest softly, causing him to chuckle and punch me back. My sister had already sat on her desk and for some reason wouldn't turn to look at me today. But that's okay. It served me right. After all, I wasn't into having to reply to unwanted questions right now.

I shot one more carefully masked grin at my friend and headed to my empty desk.

Shouldn't that girl be here already? We've got the monster again today...and she's got two minutes left...

"Where's Nakajima-san?" I heard Kaito's voice behind me. Hell man, how am I supposed to know?

"No idea..." I replied sourly. And it was none of my business was it...? I sighed and slaped my face out of nowhere. Chill out already, what's with you today? Stop acting so self-centered...damn it all...

"Hey...all k?"

No kaito, nothing's ok! But I can't say that, can I...? I felt my heart squeeze and looked up at him, shotting another goofy grin.

"Yeah buddy all's fine, why?" God please...I hope he didn't notice anything...

"I dunno, u seemed a bit out of it." He finally replied and petted my head as if I was some kinda wet, lonely puppy at the side of the road. For some reason I couldn't help but smile at him, geniunely this time. He's too much of a good person...

"Yeah don't worry, everything's fine. I had a bad sleep is all".

I know, I know. I'm a lame liar. I know he knows when I'm lying. I'm also aware it hurts him. I'm sorry, Kaito...but I can't say that, can I?

"Sheesh! I already told you! You're singing it the wrong way!" Screamed the idol's voice behind me. She was bickering with her partner again it seems.

"It's not me who's singing it the wrong way, it is you who's gotten it wrong from the beggining and seem to be denying so." Her pink-haired teammate replied calmly.

I'm not sure why, but Hatsune and Megurine seem to be the worst possible partners ever. It's not that I really care about their affairs, but my hurting head could use some precious silence right now.

"Oh, by the way, where's Kamui? He's actually...late..." I blurted out without thinking.

He was more than 5 minutes late. And Nakajima was absent as well. And for some odd reason, my stomach was tightening more and more.

Kaito turned his eyes to the door, expecting the teacher to pop in any minute now. So did I. But nothing happened. Nobody walked past the door. And nobody else except me and my best friend seemed to mind the teacher being late, or notice Gumi's absense.

I earnestly don't know what got over me. Out of nowhere, I stood up and rushed out of the classroom without reasoning. I swear, I wasn't thinking. My mind was completely blank. All I knew was that my heartbeats hurt as if someone had taken ahold of my heart and wouldn't let it beat.

It was none of my damn business! I had other things to worry about! How can I worry over other people when I can't even take care of myself first? That's what I kept telling myself, that I had to stop, that I had to go back. But it seems my best friend had a different opinion.

"Let's split up!" I heard him yell behind me, as he pulled on my shoulder to stop my steps.

I looked at him panting hard and nodded, without thinking again. And like that, he ran off on the other side, leaving me completely dumbfounded with myself. I gripped my hands in a tight knuckle and ran past the stairs in frond of me, almost tripping on the way.

I hadn't noticed how big our school was...how unfriendly, cold, and even scary it looked sometimes...or how my hastening steps echoed throughout the hallway and into my ears.

I don't know if that was responsible for the chills I was getting down my spine. Or the small, broken paper boat that looked as if someone had stepped on it that laid in frond of me. I grabbed it fast and started running again the way I was before. Why was I doing this? She wasn't my friend, she was a mere aquaintance, and one I wasn't especially fond of either.

Why did I worry over her? Was this my way of atoning for my own sins? I chuckled sadly and bit my lip hard as I kept running, tired and out of breath.

What was I exhausting myself for? Just to save her and be the hero of the day, who'll be praised and forget all about his own filth?

"That's okay, please talk to me, Nakajima-san!"

My friend's echoed voice stopped my tracks, and i made some steps backward to look into the classroom that stood next to me.

There it was. My trophy of praise.

She was shaking, curled up to herself in the corner of the classroom, behind rows of desks that carefully hid her.

"Nakajima-san. Please talk to me, what happened?"

I should be happy now right? I found what I was looking for. I was the hero...yet why...why did it only cause my chest more pain? Why...?

I punched the desk in frond of me with all my remaining strength. I swear I almost broke the bones throughout my whole hand. Kaito sighed and stood up running to the door.

"I'll go find someone for help!" And he was gone. Just like that.

Why? Why did she look like this? Her clothes were torn, her knees were bruised and hands were cut, her hair was all messed up. But I couldn't see her face. It was carefully hidden in her knees. I'm not sure why I kneeled and carefully placed my arms around her. I thought it might be of help. And thankfully, it did work. She seemed to be calming down a little.

I didn't need such a trophy. Such praise sickened me. I held her tighter, hundreds of possibilities of what had happened rushing through my head.

"Bastard Kamui..." I muttered to myself and she winced in my arms, stiffening up to herself. "What did he do to you?" I blurted out without thinking. It seems my mouth was used to talking before my head could function.

The girl finally lifted her head and looked at me with tired, dry eyes. She shook her head. "...nothing..."

What? Nothing? How nothing? Just look at you!

"Oi! Is this the time to be covering for him? Just admit it, let us help you!" I yelled out and shook her lightly, which only caused the girl to whine and shove me away.

"I told you, Kamui did nothing!" She curled up to herself once again, her tiny body shaking like a leaf. I was being an asshole again or something. I mean, why else did she start crying?

Ah man...I can't stand it when others cry...

"Hey...Come on..." I extended a hand and touched her shoulder softly and carefully, as if she was made from the most expensive and fragile glass. "Don't be afraid, just admit it and we'll shove him in jail or something."

She lifted her head and glared at me in a way I wasn't quite expeting.

"I told you Kamui did nothing!" She screamed at me and pulled away, curling to herself again.

Was she being serious? It wasn't Kamui?

"Then who...-"

She yelled a muffled "It's none of ur business!" at me and curled more tightly to herself. None of my business...okay, she did have a point...this certainly wasn't any of my business. I placed my hands on her shoulders and shook her lightly to gain her attention.

"Listen. It certainly is none of my business. If you didn't want others worrying over you, you wouldn't have let anyone find out. But you stood here, screaming for attention, begging someone would find you and pull you up, am I wrong! Am I?"

The girl simply stared at me with wet, redish, rounded eyes, biting on her lower lip hard to prevent it from shaking. I was going to speak up and apologize, when she rested her head on my shoulder and bit it hard, causing me to wince but keep quiet.

If it wasn't for her loud bawling and short but heavy breathing, the classroom would probably be completely silent right now. I held her tighter in my arms and sighed, feeling completely and utterly useless, once again.

It's not that I to erase my own deeds by helping her. And It's not that I was a saint or something either. But I simply couldn't bare the thought of her small, fragile body being...oh god...

I squeezed tighter, causing the girl in my embrace to cry louder and louder. And I did nothing but silently allow her to cry and let it all out. Caressing her hair probably wasn't of much help and I doubt holding her would ease any of the suffering she went through. But right now, it's all I could do...

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><p><em>And that was it. Thank you for reading! Dun forget to rate and review or else Len will turn emo! *evil laughter*<em>


	4. Chapter 4: Lost Destination

_Hello everyone! I know-I know- I haven't updated for so many months. And I truly feel bad for it, so here it is! It's not the biggest chapter around, but it's a start! I will try and update more from now on! Thank you SO much for the reviews! They made me want to update as fast as possible when I saw them :')_

_Please bear with me! U guys make me happy!_

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><p><strong>Chapter 4: Lost Destination<strong>

No matter how many times Kaito asked her, Gumi-san wouldn't reply "truthfully", as he saw it. The greenhead's replies would always revolve around "he didn't do it", "it wasn't him", "stop worrying about me", or "it's all right".

No, it wasn't alright. We both knew it. The way she cried her eyes out, gripping onto my shirt, shaking like a leaf, biting onto my shoulder so all possible sounds were kept shut. None of it was alright.

For a reason I couldn't quite pinpoint though, I believed her. What would she gain by watching Kamui's back if we were already aware something was wrong? Nothing. Not to mention, the way she glared at me when I suggested it was him...it was almost as if I insulted him to something irreversible.

"You can tell us..." My friend spoke to the girl with his all-time caring tone, which only came down to her shaking her head in dismay and trying to convince him for the zillionth time that "the monster" had nothing to do with it.

"Well, we could at least go someplace else guys, really..." I muttered, scratching my head. We'd been standing in the hallway for the past 30 minutes." It was my personal opinion that the best thing for her to do would be to leave for the day. Her clothes were ripped, she was bruised, she had cuts, she looked worn out, and worse of all, she wouldn't speak who did it, or what they did, Kamui or not, and us couple of irresponsible brats who up to that point took her for a nutcase-or me, at least, were in no place to demand and answer out of her.

"Come." Kaito spoke after a while, "I'll take you home."

The girl seemed to agree on the statement but her eyes wavered down at herself displeased, frowned, as she stared at her own state.

Yeah. I knew what it's like, that gut-burning need to hide things, I knew it well. I walked to my best friend and pulled his Trenchcoat off without his consent, rested it around the girl's shoulders and shrugged. "Button it up. Then nothing will show, I believe it's long enough..." my voice trailed off in guilt as I looked the other way. I doubt any of them noticed. It wasn't something so easily noticeable, that ability to lie about your physical state. It was lying after all, it was supposed to be unnoticeable. And it sickened the inner corner of my stomach how good I was at it.

"Thank you..." my classmate muttered softly and did as prompted.

The next few minutes swooed on pretty fast, with Kaito dragging her out of the building and me just standing there, watching them, wondering once more for the day, what I was doing.

I couldn't bring myself to go to the rest of the classes for the day, but I also couldn't just pick up and leave. My parents weren't the richest people around. I wish I was one of those rich brats who have everything served to them on golden plates, with golden, shiny kitchenware...I wish I could just ditch whenever I wanted to, but I couldn't. I had to stay, and try to pay attention to it all. I was enough of a disgrace as it is. A rotten, filthy-ugh!

Whatever I was, this wasn't the time for it. I had priorities, I had to go to the classroom, I had to pay attention...

My thoughts swayed when I found myself staring down at my wrists, from what I should do, to what i wanted to do...I wanted to lock myself up somewhere, use any sharp object possible and paint my skin red...It would make the pain a little more bearable...it would make the thoughts stop...it would drain me out, and then I'd casually fall flat on my bed, drift to sleep and be unable to get up next morning...

I shook my thoughts away and sighed, rushed into the elevator and punched the button numbered 4, then waited. It opened half-way, only to reveal a familiar, tall, manly figure walking into the elevator with me, along with another teacher unknown to me.

He was here. I felt my knuckles tighten as his enormous back blocked my view of anything, having squished me against the elevator's mirror.

Why? Why wasn't he alone? I had the perfect chance, I could ask him, or more like, interrogate him. Where were you last period? What happened to Gumi? If it isn't you, who was it? I knew he knew. Even if he wasn't responsible for her harassement, that bastard definitely knew. And the fact he did nothing about it only made him look more rotten in my eyes. Maybe so, even more than me. I kept back a chuckle as I watched him step out on the 3rd floor with the teacher, leaving me alone with the calculating thoughts that made my mind spin like a clockwork on fire.

The rest of the day went by relatively silently, with my sister aparently still avoiding to speak to me. I didn't really feel offended by it though. It served me right. I actually believed that it served me right and that this by itself wasn't punishment enough. I needed more. I needed to feel pain. Ignorance made me feel nothing.

"Len?"

Her calling shook me from my thoughts and I looked up at her tired-looking eyes. I couldn't really put my finger on it, but the poor thing looked like she hadn't shut an eye all night.

"Yes?" I replied. And silence.

I looked around the room only to find it empty, my voice practically echoing. Ah shit. I stood up fast smiling awkwardly and shoved my books into my backpack. "Sorry, sorry. I wasn't-  
>"<p>

"-Paying attention". She cut me off.

I looked at her and frowned apologetically then lifted my backpack above my shoulder. "Yeah. Shall we?" was the only answer close to a coment I had, which sufficed as it seems, since we started walking back home.

I had never noticed how pretty the sky was before. No, seriously. It was such a faded blue by this time of the day, as far as the eye can reach, and right at the "roots", it was orange-tinted. Maybe I really found it beautiful. Or maybe it was just my way of distracting myself from reality, or the atmosphere I had to live through. I knew the interrogating was coming. But I felt tired, too tired to care. There was only thing in the whole wide world I wanted right now. And that was the security I felt behind the locked door of my bedroom.

"You. . " her voice began. I squeezed my eyes shut for a long moment and sighed soundlessly. "You're doing it again. . . aren't you?"

What was I to say to her. . ? I was tired of the lies. I was really, truthfully, just tired. Not knowing how to respond, I found myself just walking silently, with my hands awkwardly in the pockets of my jacket. For some odd reason I had this weird fear that she might just grab them any minute and demand to see. I didn't want her to see. I wanted nobody to see. Wait- what if she told mom and dad? I unconsciously turned and glared at her in raw fear.

And my sister only stared back at me in a sense I would call rather bitter, lifeless, even. God no...I missed her smile...her goofy attitude...it brightened my day, I loved it, I really did. I hadn't seen any of it today, not even a spark...

"You aren't answering." She commented.

Rin. What did she want to hear? She knew the truth already. She had seen it. Why were words needed to proove her right? What am I saying...? Isn't it human nature after all? Actions are never enough. Each and every one of us, saying that actions are what matter best ,when actions by themselves are never enough. Words, always words, words to make our point clear. Words to clarify things. Words...

"I have nothing to answer." I replied bitterly.

"I asked you something!" Rin snapped at me and grabbed me by the shoulder, forcing my hands out. As expected. I chuckled at the realization I just thanked god for my wristbands.

"I do not wish to answer, Rin." My bitter mouth replied to her before my head could fully analyze it.

After that, I got what I wanted. I got my silence, my solitude. Rin ran ahead through the gate we were nearing and stormed into her bedroom, leaving me to deal with our parents' questioning.

"What happened?"

"Did you two fight?"

"Did something happen?"

"Did you do something to her?"

"Did anyone hurt her?"

No...no...no...no... and no...

Leave me alone. That's what I wanted to say. But I couldn't. I didn't have the heart, nor the right to, so instead of speaking my thoughts out loud I kept explaining that nothing was wrong and lie. For the hundredth time, lie to them. Lie that Rin wouldn't tell me, that I didn't know anything, that they should ask her. They weren't convinced. At least my father wasn't. His questiioning eyes spoke so. He didn't need to talk. My mother was the one asking. My father was only silently watching, like a merciless falcon. His eyes made me weak at my feet. I avoided seeing them and when the interrogation of doom was finished, I grabbed an apple from the table, a small knife, rushed up to my room, locked it up and threw the apple in the trash can.

I finally had my peace now. . .

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><p>There we have it! Not a very musically-oriented chapter but that will come on the next one.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5: Discommunication

_Hello everyone! I know, I know, I'm despicable and have taken forever to update this chapter! But before you start throwing rocks and socks at me, how about you read the chapter? I promise, it's quite eventful-but no spoilers for you! Read on and please rate and review! The more reviews I get, te sooner I'll update-PROMISE!_

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><p><strong>Chapter 5: Discommunication.<em><em>**

The small porch light wasn't turned off until very late that night. In my house, when the porch light gets turned off, it's time for bed. Old habbits die hard, after all.

When we were little, me and Rin shared a small room. My parents' financial state, as I remember it, wasn't at it's best, so instead of the two-story house they managed to buy the last couple of years, we lived in a small rented apartment with two rooms, a bathroom and a living room with an implemented kitchen.

The bedroom, being at the corner of the building gave us a clear view of the apartment's entrance. There, we would stay up until very late, sitting by the window, playing cards, watching passerbies or discussing in a voice low enough for only us to hear, waiting. You see, Rin was always afraid of the darkness of the night. For years she couldn't possibly shut an eyelid without twitching and crying in her sleep, no matter the amount of artificial light showering the bedroom. Rin could only ever sleep during daylight. So every night, we'd wait by the window until the low quality, blinking light outside would finally go off, indicating it wasn't needed anymore. Those were the only times when Rin would fall asleep, between 5:00 and 5:30, most of the time with her head on my lap, or her foot on my nose, and we'd soon after be awakened by mother's soothing voice, whispering it was time for school.

For the most part, we did a solid job in staying awake during school hours, although from time to time I'd nod off and Rin would wake me up by throwing little balls of paper at me. My little sister was always more responsible than I was, after all. Then we'd come back home dead tired and have really long evening naps until night fell. And the circle would be repeated all over once again.

Tonight, it was one of those times where the the porchlight was still on despite the late hour. I couldn't see it directly but the light reflecting onto the old tree by my window was proof enough. Rin was still awake.

I filled my lungs with air, then sighed deeply as i weakly stood from my bed and made my way to the center of the room, where evidence of my mistake laid.

Mistake, I dared call it and yet I found no power in me to ever stop it. I knew I had no right to make Rin sad with my wrongdoings, yet the thought of this body belonging to me alone only fueled my wish to rip it apart. It was mine and mine alone and I had power over it. I had no power over my life, over other people's lives, over my luck, or life in general, for that matter. But over this skinny pale body, I had full control, in those very moments.

I lifted the knife from the teal carpet biting my lower lip and threw it in the trashcan. Noone would notice the absense of a knife, much less miss it. Apparently I had gone too far this time, so far as to lose consciousness for a few minutes. Funny part was, I felt much less guilt than I did last time, or the time before it.

I opened my drawer and pulled out a long forgotten package of unused bandages, carefully rolled around itself and clumpsilly wrapped it around my wrists after disinfecting them.

4:50. It was this late and yet sleep didn't seem like a possible option for me. How I wished it was saturday, so I could stay in bed until late noon, locked into the safety of my bedroom, so I didn't have to face Rin, so I didn't have to mask my lies with my brigtest smile and survive the day.

"Rin..."

I looked at the empty wall by my bedroom absently. The wall which divided me and my sister.

This was hardly bearable any longer.

I stood up, wore my slippers and dragged myself to the door. The things I was going to say to her, I didn't yet know. But I had to do something. Rin didn't deserve this.

After three silent knocks on her door, it opened halfway, revealing my sister's tired gaze.

'God no...please don't do this to me...'

She looked exhausted. Her eyes were puffy. She had been crying-for how long? For how long had she been silently enduring this pain? The pain, the one I caused.

I was out of words to say, or actions to sooth her. One of the most difficult situations in life is trying to comfort somebody for pain that you yourself caused in the first place. My half-numb arms reached out and squeezed her little figure in a tight embrace. "Rin..."

She lowered her head and gripped tightly at the sides of my shirt.

"Why? ... Len, why? Am I not trustworthy enough...?" She uttered low, and I wondered if it was because she was being careful to not wake anyone up or simply couldn't speak anymore from crying. "I would have helped you...if you'd only let me..."

'No, I couldn't tell you.' I thought. 'You'd never understand...You'd call me selfish, you'd find me troublesome, you'd get tired...You couldn't never understand how it feels like...' They were al things I wanted to say but dared not. They were my real feelngs concealed behind a veil of lies. They were things I'd never say. Instead I only managed to tell her I was sorry. But sorry wasn't good enough and I was aware.

Rin though, asked nothing else of me. She took my hand and led me in the room and into the bed, where she curled up by my side gripping on my shirt the whole time, until the very first rays of light broke through the window and she fell asleep. I found no will in me to wake her, so i slowly dragged myself out of the bed, leaned down, kissed her temple softly, to not awaken her and walked out of the bedroom through a very soft clicking sound of her door.

"Len?"

Mom. I turned around and faced my mother's caring but confused eyes. She was dressed in her favorite knee-high light blue dress, blonde hair tied in an elegant bun. My mom almost never wore make-up. Being one of those lucky women who were naturally beautiful, she didn't need it. Maybe I saw her that way, like a flawless angelic figure, because she was my own mother. Or maybe se simply was that way.

"Good morning, mom..." I managed to mutter and instictedly shoved my hands in the pockets of my trousers, despite the long sleeves protecting me.

"Is Rin up? Is everything okay? You faught yesterday..."

I shook my head lightly and forced my most pleasing smile. "Everything is fine...or almost everything. I think Rin is exhausted...Could we let her sleep in for tonight?" I knew it wasn't something I should say, or something that should be done. My parents worked their hardest to pay our tuition. But at this very moment, if only for now, my sister's health was the most important thing to me.

My mother simply smiled, leaned in, cupped my face and kissed my forehead. It felt like a butterfly's touch, tender, barely feeling it. I couldn't help but smile back truthfully, much to my surprise. How I had missed my mother's love. If only I could tell her. If only she could soothe me. But I was aware this would never happen. After all I never let them find out, not the first time, nor now.

"Alright, don't you worry. Would you like to stay at home today as well?"

I shook my head again, despite the great temptation I felt. "No, I'll go, I don't want to miss my lessons."

And with that, my mother got ready for work and left as I had my breakfast, and mademy way to school shortly after.

For the most part, it was a silent walk. For the most part , it would have remained a silent walk, if it wasn't for the brief glimpse of the one man i didn't want to see this morning. Kamui. I gritted my teeth and fastened my pace, quickly closing the gap between us. Now was my chance. I needed answers and I needed them now.

"Professor Kamui!" I heard myself yell and thankfully he came to a halt. The man turned around and faced me nonchallatly, with his tall figure overshadowing me and looking down on me. His eyes made me weak and before I knew it i found myself staring down onto the ground.

"Yes? Do you need something, Kagamine?"

'You bet I do you insensitive bastard!'

"Um... I wanted to speak to you about...Nakajima."

At the mere mention of her name, I knew I had it. His eyes narrowed and i saw a spark I couldn't quite identify in them. "I'm not really interested in teenagers affairs. You should visit the school's consultant for that." He mocked me.

"I'm not sure what I wish to speak to you about is something the consultant should know about at this moment, sir. And I doubt you would want her to know either."

Keep your calm, I kept reminded myself. You can do this.

I knew I could. His defence was falling. I could see it in his body posture.

"Follow me."

Yes. This was my cue. I did as prompted and followed my teacher past the school gates , his shadow still overpowering mine, as if to remind me how small I was. We reached his office fast and when his door was shut and he turned around the key, I knew I was trapped. There was no turning back now.

"So nobody disturbs our talk." He explained briefly and I gulped silently. "May I know what this is about now, Kagamine-san? I am a busy man, you know this well."

If this had been anyone else, I'd no doubt feel stronger, I'd feel more capable. But this was 'The Monster' we were talking about and being locked up in his narrow office without even a window as a last resort of running away didn't exactly encourage me much.

Despite myself, I cleaned my throat and began.

"I know about...Nakajima-san. And to be blunt sir, I was 100% sure the one to blame was you." I was careful with my words, as there was no need to mix up Kaito into this. "But Nakajima denied this." One thing I wasn't quite sure about was whether I should be so straightforward or not. It wasn't a matter to be taken lightly, but it's not like I was used at discussing delicate matters.

The corners of his lips tilted up into a slight smirk as he eyed me carefully, comfortably sitting on the edge of his desk. "She did well, then."

I grunted silently and gripped my knuckles tightly.

"It's surprising."

"What is?" I asked, my mouth racing.

"You were the last person I expected to care about miss Gumi."

My heart skipped a surprised beat. Care? It's not that I cared. Why would I care over her, after all? I was just...trying to cover up my own fitlh with good deeds. That wasn't something I could simply tell Gakupo though.

"In any case, this whole matter is none of your business."

'Like hell it isn't!'

"Sir!" I groaned, glaring up at him, barely containing my anger anymore. This was wrong. I had to know! I had to...I just had to! "Please tell me what's going o-"

"Why?" He cut me off before I could finish my sentence. "Why do you need to know so badly? It is none of your business so don't poke into other peoples' lives without permission."

"I have permission!" I screamed at him and gripped him by the collar, knowing full well that at that moment my time of doom had started counting backwards towards my own destruction. "I'll tell you what! I was given permission the moment Nakajima cried in my arms like an abused child, shaking, disoriented, weak, hurt! I was given permission the moment she showed me that side of her that begged to be helped! Now you talk or I throw you into jail for doing nothing you insensitive bast-!"

I had gone too far. Far enough for the man's previous mocking attitude to change to a deadly glare that made my breath stop. He caught the corners of my chin with two fingers and lifted it, glaring still at me. "You are only a fledgling, one that knows nothing, nothing about music, much less about life. Your parents have been protecting you your whole life. They pay your tuition, they pamper you and protect you, as they have done their whole lives. Who do you think you are to possibly begin to understand the things your classmate is going through to be able to graduate from this place?" His words hurt my veins like poison and squeezed at my heart as if someone had tied a rope around it and pulled tighter and tighter, until breathing hurt. Bastard, whether it was his plan or not, he had pinched a place in me with an invisible fork which only fueled my self-hatred.

"Now, get lost."

Before my mind had time to adjust, he had unlocked, opened the door and sent me flying out the room, making my back hit hard against the wall. I glared up at him, gritting my teeth, barely standing on my feet. His strength was ruthless. But then something in his demanding eyes changed, as he shifted them to my right. They became softer, almost apologetic. I followed his gaze only to see the project of our quarrel, standing there, gripping books to her chest with a look of utter horror in her eyes. Gumi looked at me, then at the professor, then back at me and so forth. Before we knew it, Gackupo had moved away and locked himself back into his office.

Great. Just great. This was the last thing I needed.

The greenhead made her way to my side with tiny, scared steps. She stood in frond of me and looked at me from top to bottom. What was I supposed to say to her now? This silence didn't leave me much room to talk, and I was somehow glad about it. I didn't have to explain myself to her. She wasn't talking either and apparently didn't look like she wanted to try. It was the perfect silence. I looked the other way, her questioning and worried gaze unnerving.

"Let me draw you."

What?

I turned and looked at her, possibly never having been more dumbfounded in my life. She simply smiled at me as she stood there. After all that had happened, this was all she actually had to say? 'Let me draw you?'

"What...?"

"I wanna draw you. Will you let me?"

I looked around the room nervously, feeling lost and having lost track of how I should react. You see, I always knew how I should react, to everything, or at least, most of the time. I knew when I should laugh, when I should smile, when I should act bothered, even if inside I felt nothing. But this girl who stood in front of me with her carefree face actually stirred an honest feeling with me, and that was confusion. For the first time in my life after many years, I didnt know how to react.

"Why...?"

She grinned at me, toying with the back of her shoes on the carpet, lightly hitting it. Was she nervous?

"I just want to. Will you let me?"

"If you tell me the whole truth."

She lowered her eyes at that, her previous goofy expression changing to one which vividly reminded me of myself when I had broken mom's vase as a child. I sighed and rested my hands in my pockets, looking the other way fast. Of course she wouldn't tell me. It was stupid enough of me to even suggest it in the first place, wasn't it?

"Alright."

I looked up at her, feeling like my eyes would pop out. "What?"

"I said alright. But afterwards you'll let me draw you and pose like I ask you to. No exceptions."

A side of me screamed I was going to regret this, yet the other knew there was no going back. This was my one chance to find out what was going on and I wasn't going to waste it.

"Fine."

We had already long lost first period and I wasn't about to start worrying over it. There were more important matters at hand. As Gumi led me outside and in the backyard, I felt my heart squeeze in my chest. Was I nervous? Of what? Of the things I was going to hear? I was the last person on earth who should feel nervous and yet I did.

She led me under a fully blossomed sakura tree and sat under it, hugging her knees as i sat beside her awkwardly. Again, there was this familiar unbearable silence, the silence I wished to get rid of as soon as possible. I was eager to know. I needed to know.

Gumi turned and faced me with a light frown. I could see her chest rising and falling, her fast-paced breathing, her nervous behaviour. I lowered my eyes and focused them on the freshly watered grass, realising that sitting here was only going to dirty my jeans. This was the last place on earth I would ever choose to sit on. And this was the last person on earth I ever expected to worry about.

"I...um...I'm poor."

I turned and looked at her with a look of desbelief. That was one hell of a confusing way to start what was supposed to be, her explanation. Why did she always have to confuse me? She was driving me nuts.

"Yes, so are most of us."

"No, you don't understand!..." She bit her lower lip and sighed deeply. Was she concertrating? Was she carefully choosing her words? I couldn't decide.

"I'm very poor...I can't afford to pay tuition..." She squeezed her books tighter into her chest, as if they were made out of gold and someone threatened to take them away. "I have to..."

Her voice trailed off, and she looked up in my eyes, searching for something in them. What was she trying to find? Did she expect me to guess? I had no such abilities if it was what she was counting on. The girl took another deep sigh and recomposured herself, her body lightly shaking.

"I used to be able to pay...Things used to be alright...but then my father ..."

I sighed mentally when her voice trailed off again. Was she going to let me know or not?

"Listen...I am going to tell you but you must never tell anyone. Or try to fix things. Because...Because you can't. Because it's the only way for me to study here. And I don't care if you hate me after what you are going to hear, it's the way things are."

I lifted an eyebrow at her statement but continued to stare at her without saying anything.

"I was forced to pay the whole sum." She said as she jolted to her feet when I suddenly noticed she had unfalling tears in her eyes. "I paid it, but not with money. The headmaster...he..."

For some reason, I didn't need to hear anymore. I already had a very clear view of how things were. I had already shaped full understanding of the situation. And yet I didn't stop it. Was it pity? Was it that I knew what it's like to have things you can't say to anyone bottled up for too long? Either way, I let her go on, my eyes never averting from hers.

"The...headmaster...it was...the...headmaster..."

For whatever sick reason, I soon found myself wrapping my arms around her tightly and pulling her into a tight embrace. It was noting like hugging Rin, not even close. The hug I gave Rin was apologetic, weak, brotherly. When I was holding Gumi I felt understanding...It felt dangerous. Like seeing myself through the pieces of a broken mirror, disoriented, dissolved into a shape I didn't know well and yet i fully understood. I squeezed her in my arms, and she squeezed back as tightly, her arms around my neck.

"It's okay." I whispered. Whether it was abuse or she had accepted her fate willingly, i wasn't going to ask. Not at the moment at least. No matter how you looked at it, Gumi had been used. She had been used by a man I couldn't reach to punish, by a man whose face I had never once seen. None of us had. Noone except Gumi.

"It's alright...it won't happen again, right? It was just once..."

The girl kept silent but kept holding onto my neck, as if i was her only source of comfort, not just then, but ever, and I willingly held her, feeling my heartbeats raise for reasons I failed and had no interest to understand. Her breathing, I could feel it on the side of my neck, it was uneven and warm. Her body had stopped shaking. This was enough. In this very moment, I was helping. In this very moment, she was alright. In this very moment, I didn't feel myself dirty. Because no matter how much I wanted to protect myself by playing hero, I couldn't. Not with her. In a sense which only I could possibly understand, she was my mirror, reflecting everything I am. And there was no reason to hide. Not from Gumi.

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><p><em>That's all folks! Thank you for reading and bearing with me! To all my readers, I love you so much! Please keep supporting me, R&amp;R<em>  
><em> and Ill promise to work harder!<em>


	6. Chapter 6: Thank you

_Why hello there, muffins! This chapter didn't take that long, right?! I did promise, the more reviews I get, the faster the updates will be! Thank you everyone for all the reviews so far, They make me truly, truly happy! Please keep reading and pretty pretty preeetty please, review? Reviews make Mili happy and Mili will work harder on the fic for you! :D Now enough banter, read on~!_

_Ps: I changed my writing style a bit, for the better I hope._

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><p><strong>Chapter 6: Thank you.<strong>_  
><em>

Somehow I failed to understand how I got myself tangled up with the problems of a girl whom I truthfully couldn't even stand a month ago. As if I didn't already have my own little angsty adventures going on.

Ignoring her would have been the smart course of action. So she let our bald, perverted headmaster spread his hands her way- why was any of this my concern? She did it willingly, didn't she? To pay the sum-as she'd said. By all respects, the girl wasn't much better than a hooker.

Or so I'd like to remind myself.

Truth be told, this wasn't the way I saw the matter anymore. Sure, the me from a month ago would have simply rolled his eyes and went his merry way, cutting any possible connection with her. So how did it end up like this? How did I end up feeling guilt to the very thought of calling her names? Maybe, in the back of my turbulent mind, I could relate. Which only made my stomach twist and turn with sickness...

The morning sun showered my eyes like one of those uninvited guests who pop out at the inapropriate time when your house's a mess and you're either in pajamas, or half-naked. It itched against the skin of my eyelids, and I turned around and shoved my face into my pillow groaning. Why did I have to go through this on a goddamned sunday?!

It was supposed to be a day for relaxation, laying low, lazying off and enjoying one's self. So why wasn't I sleeping yet? What was I doing wide-awake, groaning and turning against my beg violently at sunrise?

After a bit of contemplation I decided I wasn't getting any sleep today. My hazy eyes rested against the clock as I pushed the bedsheets off. 7:30. Not cool.

After flopping my feet inside my embarrassingly pink and fluffy slippers I somehow managed to drag myself downstairs, into the bathroom, to wash my face and teeth and make myself even remotely presentable. Not that anyone would be in the house anyway.

Apparently, my sister had finally gotten her long-awaited date with Kaito this morning. Last night's trauma was still vividly imprinted in my mind. My sister jumping up and down my bed with joy, screaming "I did it! I did it! He asked me out on a date, Len! He asked me out! We'll go to the amusement park, Len! He asked me out, he really did!" And she jumped and jumped until she got tired and ran to my side and wrapped her thin arms around my neck, screaming words of joy in my ear. Of course, I never asked the name of her date. I didn't _need _to ask. After all I was pretty sure even the neighbors were somehow aware of my sister's infatuation with my best friend.

My legs mechanically padded to the empty kitchen and I found myself brewing myself some coffee. I wasn't much of a coffee enthusiast, not if it didn't entail lots, lots of milk and sugar. Frankly speaking, I detested the naturally bitter taste of coffee and had found myself contemplating more than once how anyone could ever drink a whole cup of the bitter venom. But over the months I found myself unable to move an inch in the mornings without the slightest sip of sweetened coffee. I took my mug and sat down the chair , curled my legs up my chest and sipped a few gulps down, sighing.

The emptiness of the house was killing me. The clock ticking over my head didn't help much either...

Tick...tock...tick...tock...one...two...three...four..

I needed an immediate escape from my own mind. Last night hadn't been of much help to my mental state. Memories of a case once forgotten, a case carefully locked inside the back cupboard of my mind. And somehow I had hoped that the key was long lost, drowning in the deepest corners of my consciousness. But it was still there, and it was resurfacing and it was dangerouly close to opening again. The memories, the pain, the reason it all started. I didn't want them back. I had to lock it up again.

The room suddenly felt far too suffocating. Lack of air. Too narrow. Too dark. I needed to escape.

Tick...tock...tick...tock

_Shut up. Just shut up. _God how I would've broken the stupid clock had it been within my reach. Bad luck.

I got up and ran out of the kitchen and to the front door, opening it with shakey hands. I wouldn't find my escape in razors or knives again. I had promised Rin. Silently, without words, I had promised Rin. Never again. Or Rin would cry again. Or Rin would be sad, and I would have made her sad. I never wanted to be the reason for my twin's tears, ever again.

As I jerked the front door open, gasping for a gush of fresh air, I found myself frozen in place, my widened eyes staring at the sudden green head that was within my range of view. The head looked up and I saw big emerald eyes watching me with anticipation.

"Hello, partner!" The perky voice reached my ears and i immediately twitched.

"What are you doing here?!" No, really, what _was _she doing here?! How did she know where I live? I suddenly felt more than a little stalked. The short, thin figure in front of me ungracefully plopped into my house, casually took her shoes off and turned to face me once more with a grin wider than africa.

"I came to be your saving grace of course!"

I froze at the irony of that. If this had been some kind of crappy fantasy novel I'd start suspecting she was some kind of psychic or possibly a fallen angel or something along those lines, who popped up just at the right time, fully aware of what I was about to do. But it wasn't and I found myself smiling sheepishly, thankful for our random encounter, because truly, had this weird girl not appeared I might have found myself drawing shapes with razors up my wrists again.

"Very funny." I managed to mutter and shut the door behind me.

"No, really. I saw your sister with that blue haired boy-what was his name again? " She blubbered as her eyes scanned every single detail of the room she stood in. I felt my personal space slightly invaded. "And I just had to come and free you from your misery." She continued. "I figured you must be all alone. You're always so gloomy, ya know? I cant help wanting to brighten up your day a little. After all, that's what friends are for, right?"

Friends, huh? When exactly she had acquired the status of friendship was beyond me, and truthfully I never really pondered much about it, seeings as she took the liberty to self-proclaim herself as my friend without my consent. Oh well, I didn't really mind. Not in the slightest, which had surprised me more than once. Opening up to people wasn't my strong point in the first place. But this girl here, she was an intruder, far worse than the morning sun which stealthily entered through the window every day. Ah, remember the talk about those uninvited guests at the most inappropriate time? Yes, this was one of those times.

"Yeah, right." Was the only response I managed to breathe out as I lifted my right brow at her, suddenly self conscious about my baggy pajamas, messy hair and the probable bags under my eyes. "And how exactly did get here?"

I found myself staring at her complicated clothing for a little more than a minute. Gumi was far different from other girls her age. Others wore alluring, sexy clothing, short skirts, V shirts, dangerously thin and small dresses. Gumi's looked like they popped right out of some action manga. A frilly green skirt and small, green shirt that left her belly button showing, accompanied by a short orange jacket lazily thrown over her shoulders. Frilly wristands, each with a small button, which made me wonder if she'd cut out a shirt and created them on her own. Striking orange boots. And the cherry on top, orange goggles.

Don't get me wrong, the colors were weird, the clothing was weird, but it somehow suited her. A lot. And the scientific explanation of how it did was beyond me. Hell, her second name must have been "Weird", or else I really couldn't find an explanation.

And then it hit me, the realization of me staring, and gumi's smirking lips turned upwards. I looked away annoyed with myself. Haha, get the hots for the weird girl and I'll throw you off the balcony, dear self.

"Well." The high pitched voice began. "I asked the school secretary for your address." She padded into the kitchen and casually threw herself on a chair sighing and stretching her legs "So tired, so tired!"

I found my eyebrow twitching. "Is the school even supposed to give out personal information like this?"

Gumi simply smiled that small, teasing, confident grin of hers and looked up at me as I approached, seemingly unfazed by my grumpy expression. "We're partners." She explained. "All I had to say was that we have to work on an assignment together, Len. She knows we're classmates."

I found myself rolling my eyes in dismay. Right. That secretary needed to be fired, and fast.

"Coffee?" I asked stiffly as I made my way behind her and and started fiddling with the coffee container. She smiled and shook her head negatively.

"Juice?"

She shook her head again.

I sighed.

"Then...is there anything - "

"Go out with me!" She beamed and stood to her feet wearing the same careless grin on her face.

"What?!" I blurted out, clearly taken aback.

"I wanna visit the aquarium, but going alone is boring..." Her voice trailed off as she stroked the parquet with her toes absently. I held back the urge to tell her off and ask why she didn't ask some other friend of hers to go with her. Something told me she lacked friends.

I sighed and ruffled my messy hair messier, watching her beaming face lazily. I rested my eyes on the rainy window and held back a groan. It was raining for god's sake. I felt eager arms wrap around my neck from behind, body pressed around my back and I inwardly thanked every guardian angel I had for the fact gumi couldn't see my red face at that moment.

"Come on...please?" She snuggled to me as if it was the most natural thing to do. How had it come down to _this?!_

"Fine!" I groaned and pulled away making a face at her. The next thing I knew was her laugh catching me off guard. She was holding her stomach, laughing to her heart's content. Heaven forbid the thoughts that swirled my mind at that moment. Her smile was actually..._pretty._

I walked past her annoyed and hurried up the steps and into my room, locked the white door fast, fuming, and very skillfully remembered how to blurt out profanities.

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The coming hour found me walking side by side with my apparently, green haired friend, on the way to the aquarium. I had changed into a fat red hoodie, worn out jeans and white sneakers, and frankly I felt a little too normal next to her. I almost felt like a boring old grandpa, something I would never actually voice out loud , or admit.

The trip was loud, with Gumi embarrassing me with every single chance she had available. I could have done without cheeky remarks such as "Oh Len, look at that turtle! It looks like you!" or "My god! This is so boring! Lighten up a little! " Apparently, I was a turtle now. A boring turtle at that. I growled and ruffled my own hair in dismay before following her long steps. For a person shorter than me, she was quite fast.

And the next thing I knew was, jellyfish. Loads of jellyfish, swimming behind a glass cage, up and down, left and right. I figured that if I tried to count them I'd most probably fail. No, I was good at maths and I very well knew how to count, mind you. It's just...they were so beautiful, so full of life, so _blue _against the light illuminating them and the thick glass caging them. But they didn't seem to mind the life of a prisoner. Then again, they were regularly taken care of and left there to swim to their hearts content and please passer-bis. And pleasing they were, alright.

Somewhere along my intensive staring I caught the reflection of myself smile and immediately looked away, half-embarrassed, half-annoyed.

"There's no rule that says you can't be happy, you know."

My eyes failed me and rested curiously over my friend's face, looking for answers-but what answers could I possibly find there, in that pale face, in those tender green eyes gazing into mine. She just grinned and turned her eyes to the jellyfish again, as did I, finding no strength in me to reply. It was utterly weird how a person could affect you this much. It was almost a joke, the way her words touched my chest and I longed to believe them...

``*~-..,,..-~*````*~-..,,..-~*````*~-..,,..-~*````*~-..,,..-~*````*~-..,,..-~*``

At the end of the day, I was back in my bedroom, with my head resting against my pillow, eyes carefully scanning the nothingness of my ceiling. I'd like to occasionally find imaginary shapes against the wooden ceiling of my bedroom, and later be proud of my discovery. Hey, I'd found a horse once. It was pretty cool.

Without a doubt, today the grass-head had gotten closer to me than any other time. Again, without asking for permission, she'd slipped her way a little deeper into my mind. And you know what? Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing after all. For all I know she'd stopped me from doing something stupid today. She'd held me back, unknowingly, from causing Rin sorrow once again, and I was more than thankful for that.

Maybe it was okay. Maybe she was right. Maybe I deserved to be happy. Maybe watching dancing blue jellyfish was reason good enough to smile. God knew I needed to smile more often. Yes, I did, but never found the courage to allow myself to smile. It was then when I realized I should be more like Gumi.

I knew her well enough to be a hundred percent certain she wasn't a slut. Maybe a little mental, yeah, but in no shape or form, a prostitute. She definitely had her reasons and who was I to preach or try to understand them? All I knew was that her choices made her sad and not in the least proud of them. Actually, a little too sad. And I remembered her small body shaking in my arms again, and her muffled cries against my shoulder, or how she begged me to not tell anyone and not go after Kamui. The bastard knew. Sure, he wasn't the one who had caused it all but he knew and did nothing, which only made me angrier. But wait, wasn't I being more than a little hypocritical? I knew now too, didn't I? And what had I done about it? What would I be able to do about it? Sure as hell I didn't have the strength my teacher had, but I knew one thing for sure. I wasn't going to let her be taken advantage of again. Because there must have been other ways of facing the problems of a student who lacks the money, but so very much wants to continue studying music. There had to be so many ways. And yet the old fart had used her-which I was certain for, even without Gumi telling me who started it first. As if she'd ever go and say something along the lines of "I'll pay you back with my body".

I twitched all over to the thought and growled, slapped my face and glared at the ceiling. Definitely not Gumi enough.

I rolled to my side and curled up, my eyelids slowly shutting down on me. It was barely nine o'clock but I was somehow far too tired and the bed was more than inviting. I like the smell of my bedsheets. Anything my mother chose smelt and looked good. I loved my mother...

``*~-..,,..-~*````*~-..,,..-~*````*~-..,,..-~*````*~-..,,..-~*````*~-..,,..-~*``

Mornings. What a drag. Me and mornings never got along, especially Monday mornings. Thank god I had Rin to drag me out of bed-although truth be told I had to fight back the urge to cuss at her more than once. How could I take it lightly when she woke me up at the sweetest stage of my slumber?

I yawned widely and shoved a carefully toasted piece of bread in my mouth before tying the shoelaces of my snickers and following my hyperventilating sister out the house. Like usual mornings, the house was parent-deprived but my sister made up more than enough with today's never-ending banter.

"-And then he got me a plushie! Kaito's _really _good at shooting!"

"Mmmm." I replied with my mouth full, carrying my bag over my shoulder lazily.

My sister crooked her eyebrows and rested a hand on her hip, watching me with a disapproving look. "You're bitter and jealous, just because _you_ have never been on a date!"

I rolled my eyes and inwardly gasped in realization of yesterday's events. Should I be happy over the fact my sister was wrong, or not? Wait-was that a date to begin with? It might as well have only been an outing...with a friend... Yeah, that sounded more like it.

A huge hand slapping my back jerked me out of my thoughts and I was instantly glad I had long ago devoured my breakfast.

"Good mornin'!" Came my best friend's cheerful voice next to me as I lifted my chin to look at his and glare disapprovingly. "Good morning to you too." I managed to say, crossing my arms and shaking my head in annoyance. That slap had hurt. A lot.

He merely shook it off with a laugh and followed me to class, after planting a shy, kindergarden-like kiss on my sister's cheek-which I oh-so-willingly pretended not to notice.

Apparently we were the last ones to enter the classroom. We both hurried to our seats and I pretended not to see Gumi. It was a secret pact we had both agreed to, without really speaking any words. For the past month we barely even interracted during classes, but free periods and breaks were a completely different story. It had me wondering sometimes, whether she didn't want to be seen with me, or didn't want others to see me hanging out with her. For some reason my stomach twisted at the later and i sighed before pulling my notebook out.

Swiftly came Kamui's hissing voice in the back of the room. "How I _love it_ when you are all present." He beamed and walked to the front, sat down his desk and crossed a leg over the other, carefully scanning the room with his crow-like eyes. I felt like I was being inspected for murder.

"Is a computer smart, or stupid?" He blurted out and smirked, joining his hands in front of his desk, watching us carefully.

_What?_

We all stared at him for a good long minute before each of us was lost in thought. For all we knew the man barely ever said good morning to us before immediately starting the lesson. What was with today's sudden sophisticated – random talk?

"Why are you looking at me like a bunch of sheep who lost their shepherds? I asked. Is a computer smart, or is it stupid?"

"It's smart!" A voice to my left yelled. It was Miku, wearing a determined expression on her face. Well, I for once, agreed.

Gakupo burst out into laughter, like a manic criminal who just broke out of jail.

"No, you fools!" He stood up, hands in the air, expression filled with fire and passion and something a little rougher that I couldn't quite indicate.

"Computers are stupid! They only ever do what they are programmed to do! They have no free will-they have no personality, they have no thought-process! If you program them to do an action they shall only do that, they shall only follow that road, no left-and certainly no right turns."

We all pretty much stared at him with the same expression, and probably the same inner conflict too. _What the hell __did__ computers __have __to do with a music lesson?_

He chuckled again, clearly amused at our dumbstruck faces as he walked forward and sat down on Rin's desk, a leg over the other, pretty much covering her completely. I felt a sudden urge to smack him right then-not that he'd ever try anything funny regarding a student-or so I wanted to believe- but memories of his incompetency regarding student protection made me not even want him within a meter long radius of my sister.

"Music. Music is pretty much the same. If you don't compose it, it won't create itself for you. You won't simply wake up one day and realize that it's all there, neatly folded and waiting for you. You have to take the initiative and create everything step by step-because truly, music doesn't have a thought-process either."

And we listened and listened to his lecture intently, taking in all the information like sponges squeezed into a water puddle. But it was fascinating and it was marvelous. The man might be a nutcase and a pile of egoism but he certainly was a good teacher.

``*~-..,,..-~*````*~-..,,..-~*````*~-..,,..-~*````*~-..,,..-~*````*~-..,,..-~*``

The breeze, so welcoming and nice, so pure. My town might not be the most attractive place for tourists to visit, neither was it a bustling city where things _happened, _but if there was one good thing about it, it was the breeze. The air was clean, and I could swear my lungs were happy every time i breathed. I didn't have many encounters with big cities, not really. I had grown up here after all. But as the years passed I had visited quite a few places-which only ever made me want to hurry back home. This crystal clear cool breeze, nothing could ever surpass it.

I closed my eyes and relaxed my head against the hard tree behind me. _Not much of a __pillow__. _I inwardly cussed.

But then, something caught my attention just before I could drift and pulled me back into consciousness. Something...a voice...sweet, faraway, and flowing... familiar voice...

_Drop by drop ... the rain began to fall..._

I shifted and stood to my feet sharply, rubbed my eyes and looked around for the source of the intruder.

_Continuing to fall alongside...my tears..._

I lifted my eyebrow and headed forward, rubbing my messy head and walked down the school yard, close to the naked autumn trees and stood behind one, carefully taking in the serene sight before me.

_Thank you..I'm so happy that we happened to meet..._

It was a familiar green head , with a familiar cloud-floaty voice, sitting down under a naked tree, with a notebook on her lap and a pen hectically writing, the familiar goggles squished under enormous beaming headphones. She looked busy. In fact, far too busy to notice my presence.

_Drop by drop...the rain...began to fall..._

The song sounded bittersweet, but nothing short of melodic. I caught myself simply standing there, staring, listening, lost in that peculiar magic of the moment. The magic of music creation. Which made me realize I was overdue on my own project. I lowered my gaze and rubbed my temples lazily. When had my motivation meter reached Siberian levels, again?

I pulled back carefully, stealthily, like a Meiji Era ninja, as if my life – or more like my dignity- depended on it, and made my way back into the building. I flopped my self into my chair and looked up at the clock. Bell would ring in about ten minutes and free period would be over. Still, I absently pulled my own notebook out, randomly grabbed a pencil from my case and found myself tapping it's tip against the paper hopelessly.

To my dismay, I could only pray that the song Gumi had been working on was actually our duet, for my own composing future didn't look too bright.

``*~-..,,..-~*````*~-..,,..-~*````*~-..,,..-~*````*~-..,,..-~*````*~-..,,..-~*``

"_No...move your hands away from me, please...please, I don't want to... I never asked for this..." But my begs were futile . My legs kicked helplessly as teeth sank at my neck , my shrieking voice too loud to not notice. So how could that person not notice? How could her hand slither down my body as if it was nothing, how could she pin me down with such brutal strength and do things to me I never wanted? Her tongue ravaged my neck, hands touching me in places untold and I screamed and cried and kicked with all I had, as her long blonde hair covered my sight. I screamed my lungs out. But nobody came. Nobody was coming to save me. It was all over. What was I to do? The classroom was dark, the curtains were closed, the door was locked and the school was empty, but i still prayed, and prayed and kicked and fought. Would anybody save me?! Where were my marvel heroes now?! Were were the manga heroines that saved the day?! What was this-I wanted to break free, I wanted to run but I couldn't! Help... Help...!_

"UGH!"

I shot up from my bed panting with all I had, my eyes unfocused and blurry, my room spinning , my mind hazy, the bedsheets and my clothes wet.

It took me more than a minute to realize that it had all been a dream. A nightmare. A bitter memory. I cried out silently and folded in half, curled up to my side and held my hair shaking helplessly, my breath uneven and trembling. No, why? Why were they back?

The memories. The fears. The flashbacks. I didn't want them back. Why?

Why? When I had so carefully locked them up and tossed the key to demise, why was it back? I cried silently, wetting my pillow, wanting the pain to end, mentally cussing myself for acting like a girl. I was a man. I had to be strong. This was the past. It was over. It was over, Kagamine Len. It was over.

But no matter how many times I repeated the words to myself like a mantra, the pain wouldn't cease. I got up with shaking legs and walked to my desk, opened the very first drawer and shakily pulled out the very first sharp object I felt my skin touch.

Oh but I knew what it was, I knew far too well, for one couldn't simply forget the familiarity and warmth their razor had given them so many times before.

I pulled it close and sank to my knees, still muffling cries with all I had, reaching up for my wrinkled sleeve and pulling it as high as I could, before I bit my lower lip and threw my head back as I felt the sharpness slide over my skin...warm...inviting...

It felt...good...

It felt...familiar...my mind felt hazy, it felt numbed and i pressed down harder and harder, until red liquid ran down my wrist, tickling my skin and finally resting against the carpet.

I muffled another cry and did it again and again, my eyes carefully fixed onto the cold ceiling which somehow felt like home again.

I bit my lower lip harder to stop it from trembling as I threw the razor on the floor and curled up right there, over the fluffy, stained carpet, hand holding my wall of shame tightly to stop the blood, the pain and most importantly, the sudden guilt.

And then familiar words shot my mind out of the blue and I felt the tears roll down my cheeks once more.

"_You deserve to be happy."_

* * *

><p><em>That's all for now folks! Please R&amp;R and make me RRRRRRRLY happy! It will only take a moment right?!<br>_

_Ps: The song Gumi is writing is called Arigatou and you can find it on youtube. It''s a gumi/len duet.  
><em>

_Kisses!  
><em>


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